A common symptom of menopause is loss of sex drive, and it not only affects our own self-esteem, but it can also affect our relationships.
The thing is, some think we're not supposed to struggle with sex and that it's something that's just supposed to happen naturally...
... we're supposed to just feel this desire and that it shouldn't be a problem.
And worse: if it's not really working... something must be wrong.
As a result, people tend to feel broken, inadequate or really afraid.
But here's something we need to realize: there's something we can do about this.
It's normal to struggle
Couples that are together for a long time will inevitably have trouble in the bedroom.
There are just too many things that complicate sex and sexual desire to think it's just going to run along easily all the time.
But we're here to let you know that nothing is broken.
There is a way to share pleasure and connection with your partner and it doesn't need to be stressful.
We're talking more about that in today's The Best of The Menopause Movement Podcast with certified sex therapist and couples counselor, Jessa Zimmerman.
Jessa specializes in helping couples who have a good relationship, but who are avoiding sex because it's become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured.
She's the author of Sex Without Stress. The host of the Better Sex podcast and is a regularly featured expert in the media, including Refinery29, Business Insider, MindBodyGreen, and Marriage.com.
During the podcast, we talk about Jessa's background and how she got into sex therapy PLUS:
- What's at the core of a couple's perceived sexual dysfunction
- The beliefs around sex that are not true
- The importance of understanding that nothing is broken
- What is desire discrepancy and how to address it
- The importance of knowing what is pleasurable for you
- Painful sex and how to manage it
- Recognizing your triggers in the bedroom
- Becoming aware and responsible for our own sexual pleasure
- The meaning of expectations
If you're experiencing loss of libido because of menopause, tune in today and find out new ways to explore intimacy with ease!
What's Discussed in This Episode:
[2:24] How Jessa became a sex therapist
[3:28] Divorce, existential crisis, and perimenopausal
[6:23] Effects of grief and loss to one's sex life
[7:41] Difficulties in talking about sexuality
[9:17] Addressing incorrect beliefs about sexuality
[11:19] How to deal with people who have bouts of trauma and suffering
[13:17] Dealing with people who have fixed mindsets
[14:54] Common sexual issues for women in menopause
[18:27] The tendency to overlook sexual dysfunction and pain
[19:36] Sex therapy includes discovery and education about sexuality
[21:50] How to address people with sexual trauma
[23:41] Jessa's take on orgasmic meditation
[25:51] Views about aids to sexual pleasure
[26:18] Preferences, desire discrepancy, and sexual mismatch
[27:54] Communicating with the partner about sexual issues
[29:07] The lack of proper medium for sex education
[30:40] Detaching fantasies and goals from intimacy
[32:24] Recovering from a rut
[35:47] Nothing is broken
Jessa Zimmerman is an author, podcast host, and a certified sex therapist and couples counselor. She helps couples who are avoiding sexual activities because of negativity, stress, disappointment, and pressure. Jessa also coaches couples to overcome such experiences to enjoy and maintain a healthy intimate and sexual relationship.